Rabu, 22 Desember 2010

Quick Motivation Technique for What to Do When Someone Is Feeling Discouraged

Quick Motivation Technique for What to Do When Someone Is Feeling Discouraged


This Quick Motivation Technique is about what to do when someone is feeling discouraged. It could be you, or someone on your team, or someone you care about.
It is inspired by an article on our website about Nick Vujicic titled "No Arms, No Legs, Huge Heart," and it also features his video.

Nick was born with no arms, no legs in 1982 in Melbourne Australia. But what he lacks doesn't hold him back. He's an extraordinary motivational speaker, and he gets out there--he steers a boat, goes fishing, putts golf balls, goes down waterslides. He's inspirational. And he points us toward today's motivation technique, about what to do when you're discouraged, because a common mistake when you're discouraged is to get caught in cycles dwelling on what's wrong, or unfair, or uncomfortable-in short, dwelling on what you don't have, or can't do.

Instead you want to focus on WHAT YOU DO HAVE, and WHAT YOU CAN DO.
I refer to Nick for this technique because, well, think of it this way--
If ANYONE has a reason to focus on what he DOESN'T have, it's Nick, without arms and legs.
If ANYONE has a reason to focus on what he CAN'T do, that's Nick too. There's so much he can't do that most of us take for granted all the time.

But--you won't hear him complaining. You get the feeling that when HE gets down he doesn't have TIME to stay discouraged. He's too busy getting on with it. He's got things to do. It's not about his limitations; it's about overcoming obstacles. It's about what he DOES have, and what he CAN do.

To apply this yourself, when you or someone you know is discouraged focus on...
Technique:
1. What you HAVE, not what you've lost
What do you have-plenty--knowledge, experience, skills, talents, strengths, resources, ideas, PEOPLE too--friends, family others. The list goes on. In fact, for this step, DO make a list. Make a list of all these things that you have, relative to the challenge you're facing. You'll find just making the list itself starts to make a difference, because it directs you toward the right things to focus on.
2. Focus on What you CAN do, not what you can't
Don't dwell on what's beyond your ability or authority or your reach. Focus on actions you can take to make even small progress. How do you do that?
This is why I say that you should ADD 1 and 2.

Look at the list of what you HAVE (from Step 1), then come up with what you can do with what you have. It's a great way to avoid brooding too much about you can't do.
Add 1 and 2 by going down your list, and look for productive steps you can take with each of the advantages you have.

Another way you be helpful on this to someone in a discouraging situation is to help them generate a variety of possible positive alternative courses of action-help them pick a path, get started, get moving, get some traction, get some quick wins-don't let discouragement eliminate alternatives or paralyze action-by brainstorming alternative actions, you're bound to come up with something better than what comes from dwelling on what you don't have, or can't do.

One more point. "Measure" 1 and 2. What I mean about this is that you can hold yourself accountable on this, which in my experience with clients works very well. For example, when discouraged, ask yourself what percentage of time are you focusing on what YOU'VE LOST instead of what you still HAVE?
What percentage on what you CAN'T DO instead of what you CAN? Catch yourself doing this, and set a goal to increase the percentage of time you spend on the right side of these two points.

John Ullmen Ph.D. is a business author, speaker and internationally acclaimed executive coach. His writing has been featured in major media outlets such as MSNBC, the Los Angeles Times and Harvard Business Review. He lectures on leadership at the UCLA Anderson School of Management. He was a finalist for the Award for Teaching Excellence as determined by graduate students, and his elective course was voted one of the "Top Ten" in the student experience. His speeches, seminars and consulting focus areas include the art and science of motivation, leadership, teamwork, conflict, and communication. He lectures on leadership at the UCLA Anderson School of Management. Visit his site featuring motivation techniques and videos: http://MotivationRules.com/ Sign up for the newsletter and receive a free copy of Dr. Ullmen's "Motivation DNA Decoded" document on how to motivate anyone http://www.motivationrules.com/

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